As finals have ended, I finally have the opportunity to step back and reflect on the first fully online semester I’ve had during COVID. Following spring semester, I entered my courses excited and hopeful that my experience with virtual learning prepared me enough for yet another few months online. I was, in fact, very wrong. 

This semester proved much more difficult than the last. While in the spring both students and professors were learning to navigate an entirely foreign method of learning, there seemed to be more grace and understanding on both ends. This fall, my professors allowed each student two days for absences and refused to accept late work under any circumstances. It felt as if professors kept us in an endless cycle of busy work, and at times I felt as if I were drowning in my all of  assignments. 

Entering the semester, I was particularly excited for my Social Documentary class. I anticipated learning about important human rights issues, especially considering the current social climate we’re living in following the widespread Black Lives Matters protests from the summer. However, I quickly realized this class, instead, would focus more on weekly discussion posts that only counted for participation and frequently cancelled Zoom meetings. The content of the class focused more on the process of filming a documentary, and much less on the human rights issues outlined in the course description. 

My professor informed us toward the end of the course that she modeled this semester as an almost entirely different class than previous years, when her students would choose a human rights issue to research and create a short film about. Rather than immersing ourselves in the process of documentary filmmaking and researching a specific social issue, we watched short documentary films on YouTube and wrote a paragraph summarizing the content in our discussion boards, only to complete the same assignment next week with another short film. My work throughout the semester felt pointless, which made it much more difficult to find the motivation needed to complete the cycle of assignments. 

Each week, I forced myself out of bed in the morning and situated myself in front of my laptop for the day. My classes began at 11 a.m. and continued until 6 p.m. with only 15 minute breaks in between, and most days I found it quite difficult to find the motivation to stare at my laptop all day. There were several mornings where the warmth of my blankets and the thought of starting a new show on Netflix sounded much more appealing than sitting through my never-ending Zoom meetings.   

As much as my professors tried their best to provide us with a “normal” college experience, I still feel as though I learned nothing throughout the semester. I hate to admit that this semester has felt like a waste of time and energy, and a part of me wishes I had taken a gap year to collect myself before returning to school. I’ve realized that online learning simply does not work for me, and I’ve continued to overwork myself for classes that, for the most part, have given me nothing. 

I’ve talked to a few friends of mine about how they feel regarding the online semester, and most feel the exact same way. One of my good friends told me she has never been so close to giving up on school altogether. 

It hasn’t been easy, and as COVID cases continue to rise each day I feel my anxiety picking back up again, far worse than how I felt in the spring. Each day feels dull and the same, like I’m living each moment on repeat from the time I wake up until my head hits the pillow at night. My mental health has suffered throughout the semester, as I’ve been struggling to pick out the positive moments during the day. It feels like there’s nothing to look forward to, as if each day brings us closer to another shutdown and more isolation. 

Now that the semester is coming to a close, I’m preparing myself for another virtual semester in the spring. While my mental health suffered in the spring and fall semesters this year, I’m determined to pick myself up next spring. 

I know many of us felt a similar struggle during the semester, and if you felt the same lack of motivation this fall, here are some resources and ideas I found to hopefully help pick you up again in the spring. 

Six Strategies for Staying Motivated During the Covid-19 Pandemic, an article from Rice University Graduate and Post-Doctoral Studies, outlines several ideas for maintaining motivation during the semester. One suggestion that stuck out to me, that I surprisingly hadn’t thought of, was to participate in online study groups over Zoom or FaceTime. Although still virtual, this time for socializing can give the feeling of studying with friends and classmates as we did on campus, but this time from the comfort and safety of our homes. 

I noticed that during the semester, I struggled to stick to my normal routines. I woke up minutes before class, and I attended my Zoom meetings while in bed, half-asleep with my camera off. Almost immediately after, I shut my laptop and buried myself back under the blankets until my next class. I let myself go and often forgot to take care of myself physically, forgetting to eat until 9 or 10pm, or shower and brush my hair.

Covid-19: Staying Motivated and Warding Low Mood suggests maintaining a specific routine, similar to the routines we develop while living on campus. Wake up at the same time everyday, eat before class, get dressed and ready for class as if you’re walking across campus to get there. It’s important to find some sort of routine during these COVID semesters because, as I learned this semester, it is far too easy to lose these routines and spend my endless days trapped inside my bed with my laptop.  

This semester was difficult, but we made it through and we’ll make it through once again in the spring. The most important thing is that we continue to take care of ourselves as best as we can, while still trying our best in a time when motivation feels almost impossible to hold onto. It’ll be okay, and one day in the future our days will begin to feel normal once again. For now, we have to focus on ourselves and our needs. Here are a few more resources to find motivation and take care of our mental health. 

Five Tips for Students During the Coronavirus Self-Quarantine 

6 Ways to Rediscover Motivation During COVID-19 

7 Tips to Take Care of your Mental Health During COVID-19

By Madelyn Fink

Journalism major, avid baker, lover of yoga, and very dedicated plant mom.