Always and Forever, Unrealistic

@kaito14

Soaring from a high of the first two successes in this movie franchise, the final installment of the To All the Boys series tackles love in an original way. 

To All the Boys: Always and Forever sought to magnify its alluring aesthetic and feel-good love story through a new lens. The movie opens with the Covey family in Seoul, Korea for spring break. Lara Jean (portrayed by Lana Condor), now a senior in high school, awaits her college decision for Stanford University. Peter (portrayed by Noah Centineo), her boyfriend for the last two years, already has a scholarship for the Stanford lacrosse team. The couple constructs a plan for their relationship, centered around attending Stanford to cement their future together.

But, their original plan is fractured when Lara Jean is rejected from Stanford. Her plans with Peter crack under the pressure of a long-distance relationship and Peter woundedly admits they “know what three thousand miles will do to them.” 

Unlike the previous To All the Boys movies, Always and Forever grapples with the more grave, painful side of love. Director Michael Fimognari said in an interview with The Observer that his attraction to the film series stemmed from the desire to illustrate real high school stories. College, first loves, and long-distance are certainly important issues high schoolers grapple with, but Always and Forever fails to display these realistically. 

College is hardly portrayed accurately by Hollywood. Elle Woods walked into Harvard Law School, Blair Waldorf “settled” for New York University, and Troy Bolton was welcomed to Julliard after participating in two musicals. There is no denying that movies and TV shows portray college unrealistically, but rather provide viewers with potentially dangerous disappointment in real life. Every year, high school students work tirelessly to send college applications, and every year, students are disappointed by the unfair lottery college acceptance system. Always and Forever illustrates Lara Jean’s disappointment after receiving her Stanford rejection letter, but the alacrity with which she is accepted into the University of California Berkeley and New York University could be a detrimental depiction, especially to young viewers. College is a lottery, and even the most qualified individuals fall short of their goals. This reality is hardly shown in the media, but why would it be? It doesn’t fit the whimsical, glamorous life these characters live. 

Netflix also made a conscious choice to change the colleges used in the book series. The To All The Boys novels are set in Virginia; however, the movies set Lara Jean’s story in Portland, Oregon. Jenny Han’s versions of Peter and Lara Jean wanted to attend the University of Virginia together. After receiving her rejection from UVA, Lara Jean settled to attend the College of William and Mary. However, UNC Chapel Hill accepted her from the waitlist last minute, and her future plans changed again. UVA and UNC are not unrecognizable schools, but they don’t have the romantic grandeur of Stanford, Berkeley, or NYU. Netflix is, therefore, feeding into the romanticization of  a particular college experience, fueling the unrealistic expectations for young viewers.

In addition to harmful narratives about the college experience, Always and Forever provides an unrealistic depiction of love. It is unwise to expect realism from a Netflix original movie, but I was still hopelessly optimistic watching it for the first time. As someone who has been in a long-distance relationship for nearly three years, I understand its struggles, pains, and shortcomings. Movies and TV fail to represent this aspect of relationships well, but Always and Forever had a golden opportunity to show an authentic version of high school romance. Yet, the raw, less positive, side of love is portrayed as a taboo. It is a condition that people know exists but fail to outwardly discuss. Even when love is depicted as pain, it is still romanticized. 

I do respect Fimognari’s efforts, as the film’s depiction of love did not fall drastically short. Lara Jean and Peter do appear to be in love. Kitty Covey demonstrates the bickering side of a new relationship. And Dan Covey, Lara Jean’s father, has impressive (and wise) one-liners about partnerships—my favorite being, “You can’t save this relationship by not growing.” His own personal relationships with Trina and Eve, his late wife, are also convincingly beautiful.

Nevertheless, Fimognari plays into the stereotypical love portrayed in rom-coms, and I lose respect for the film because of that decision. Peter mimics John Cusack in Say Anything, holding a boombox above his head while blasting music. Lara Jean writes love letters to Peter, and the two have their own grand romantic gestures. These instances certainly do occur in real life, but the overshadowing presence of these classic rom-com tropes detracts from Fimognari’s attempt at realism. Love is not one-dimensional. We’ve likely all heard of the five love languages. Where are those needs depicted in movies? Not everyone shows love the same way, but Always and Forever attempts to convince their audience otherwise.

Long distance relationships are tricky to navigate, never mind depicted in a blockbuster franchise, because typically only those who have experienced the pain and heartache understand the dynamic. Maybe I’m just a pessimist, but Lara Jean and Peter were too idealistic of the three-hour time difference in addition to living three thousand miles apart. Love alone is hard, never mind adding additional stressors.

The movie concludes with Lara Jean beaming that distance is perfect for “writing love letters,” echoing the themes from the first film but also reinforcing another romantic comedy stereotype. Oftentimes, Hollywood frames love and romance in a rosy glow, and we know it is not accurate, but we still consume the media anyway. So, maybe it’s naïve to expect a movie void of stereotypes and tropes, but why should we not strive for some semblance of realism? 

Should we expect Hollywood to produce a realistic rom-com? Or is the genre designed for the quixotic? Do they purely exist for escape?

A weighted couple of questions, indeed, for a Netflix film, but important to consider. Under normal circumstances, I think it is easier to debate these ideas, but uncertain times leave people craving for security. Always and Forever is not going to win any Oscars, but it certainly wins its audiences’ hearts, even moving them to tears. Fimognari may have intended for realism, but, at the end of the day, such a desire doesn’t affect the film’s purpose. It is a feel-good film. Feel-good, even when we know it’s not real, because the desire lies in the escape. And isn’t that the point after all?

By Anjali Chanda

Writer, dog lover, and a hopeless romantic.