Bouquets

Contaminated with your sins, I purged myself of the memories until my cheekbones hollowed out canyons in my face. I drained myself of the leftover poison of your saliva in my bloodstream until my veins thinned out into shadows. I emptied myself of you from the inside out until all I carried in me was the stale stench of regret and resentment blooming bouquets from my throat. Bouquets that grew, twisting like Wisteria, suffocating any voice in me until I could scream as loud as I wanted and not a sound would come out.

And my god I just wanted to feel clean again. But as hard as I tried, the scalpel of a stranger’s love couldn’t remove your cancerous remains which fed on my thoughts. And not even for the leftover life of me would I let you win.

Maybe one day I’ll forget the way your dark skin melted and tilted with the night sky like water colors blurring the horizon. Until then I’ll just focus on the way my feet sound hitting the concrete as they walk away from you. I’ll listen to Bon Iver records and I won’t cringe when they sing of midnights or speak of forever’s. I’ll cook with rosemary, bathe in lavender, take more pictures than I should and flirt with people whom I shouldn't.

I will be okay. But you, you are stuck wavering. Drifting in a place of desolation; I can’t save you the way you claim to have saved me. Your soul will not rest one day in this promise of peace we all crave. And through your ignorant blindness can’t you see? I’ll never be the least bit sorry.

By Anonymous Goddess