Connection in the Day and Age of Miss ‘Rona

My first month of shelter-in-place was comfortably spent bingeing Criminal Minds. California’s quarantine mandate was the perfect way to get some much-needed R&R when the end of winter quarter was fast approaching and I had finally submitted the last of several grueling college transfer applications.

I’ve always taken pride in my ability to connect with people, but talking to the people I know and love has always been easier for me during school thanks to the wealth of interpersonal drama and responsibility that accompany the academic year. When conversation reaches a point where the most logical next step is to unveil the inner machinations of my psyche, I take a step back rather than reach out to the people I care about. But two weeks of quarantine became three weeks, and then three weeks became three months…

The stressful beginning of quarantine warranted rest during those first few weeks, but in retrospect, my so-called R&R was poorly executed. Every day looked the same: after waking up at 11 AM, I rewatched TV shows for the umpteenth time, walked my dog while scrolling through social media, and – if I was feeling frisky – I’d venture through TikTok. I proclaimed that this routine was a means of self-care, but in reality, my life was quiet and lonely.

Cabin fever compounded with radio silence soon became too much to bear – it was time to reframe my approach to self-care. Ultimately it was the little things that made all the difference. Aromatherapy every morning and evening in the form of essential oils, body lotion after showers (currently loving EO’s rose and chamomile), and DIY manicures every other week may sound trivial, but it was the kick I needed to start feeling better in light of our troubling reality.

Self-care, as it pertains to hygiene, is no cure-all, but it’s nice to wake up in the morning embraced by EO’s rosemary essential oils (known for easing stress and providing an effective morning pick-me-up). I was waking up calm and, dare I say, excited for the day to come instead of waking up only to count down the hours until I could go back to sleep again. Each morning my mind was refreshed and craving stimulation and connection. I joined my sister for her daily workouts even though her pull-up bar sequence makes me scream, and I started a CS project with a friend as a means to learn and stay occupied. But the best thing I’ve done since reestablishing my self-care routine is to reach out to my friends and find new ways to connect.

Zoom calls and FaceTimes are my new normal, but video chatting doesn’t have to be just talking. When I started cooking more for my family, I’d video chat with my friends to mimic the fun of preparing food with friends; we may have been on opposite sides of the world but we could still have the bad singing and cooking fails that make these kinds of nights so memorable. And every time we tried a new recipe, we texted each other photos and food reviews. We dared to dream of all the things we would do as soon as we could see each other again – beach days and bikini pictures, sitting in the library fooling around instead of doing homework, and nights out on the town. In the wake of George Floyd’s death and the ensuing social movements, we walked BLM protests (masks on, of course) and made much-needed space to discuss and process reality with one another. Since moving to school, I’ve started collecting postcards to send to a friend, and once I get better about dropping them into the mailbox, she will be receiving little mementos from my everyday life, accompanied by a blurb and a reminder that I love and miss her.

Using personal physical wellness as a booster for my mental health and backbone for now-virtual relationships has kept me not only surviving, but maybe even thriving. I’m counting down the days until I can give my friends and loved ones a hug without worrying about Miss ‘Rona, but for now I’ve been blessed with more love and camaraderie than I could ever have hoped for.

By Anita Mukherjee

Indie rock enthusiast and home chef who will always make time to watch a stand-up special