Why I Will Never Work a Desk Job

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I used to do on an average summer day before the reality of summer jobs and internships kicked in. I remember wanting a job so badly. I wanted to go do my own thing and be productive and have a purpose. Now, I want to be 13 again and lay around and do nothing. 

Working a 9-5 job over the summer is hard. You’re tired, you never fully cashed in enough sleep to even out the sleep debt you acquired over the year, you never have enough to do at your job--unless you do, this could vary—so you sit at your cubicle, desk, workspace, etc. nodding off in front of the computer and pretending you are being productive after already finishing the day’s project, and by 5 o’clock, you’re too tired to go and be productive and social after work. So, you lay in bed and watch Netflix until you fall asleep later than you were supposed to. 

This tiring cycle is why I will never work a desk job. I know this is a lofty statement, and you may think, well you’re going to have to at some point, and you’re probably right. So far, I’ve avoided the stereotypical desk job by working in retail and at a startup—although both have been 9-5 and relatively stationary throughout the day. So, you could say I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to work a 9-5 desk job, and I know I do not like it—too bitter. 

I feel like I have to defend my sweeping declaration, because I do understand that if you love your job and/or you love you coworkers it may be different. I probably wouldn’t mind working a 9-5 desk job in that case. My problem is, I’ve seen too many people (mostly on social media which could be false advertising, I’m aware) with careers in alternative work environments. It seems like the day has come where you can make a living without working a 9-5 desk job. It’s the era of social media, personal branding, and Youtube. Unless I’m being tricked by the idealistic lens of Instagram, it seems like there are other options. 

I have prematurely determined after two official jobs/internships that I am not cut out for the normal workforce. I don’t like it. I can’t do it. That’s that. I want to be able to write stories and articles at various cafes or workspaces like WeWork and The Wing. I want to work from home or while traveling. I want to feel fulfilled through my work, energized and excited by what I am doing throughout the day. I want to create something. I want what I do in my life to last. I want other people to see it, enjoy it, and read it past my lifetime. The problem here is I still have not quite figured out how I’ll be able to do all this, and I have just realized I basically described freelance writing as my dream job. 

Can I do that right out of college? I sure as hell can’t force myself into a cubicle, but how am I supposed to make money without picking up a traditional job. If I’m a freelance writer, will I be broke until I make it big or will I be working numerous little jobs? These are all genuine questions, so really if you know the answers here shoot me some advice. Maybe all my stresses about what I’m going to be when I grow up (in 2 years) stems from the expectation from all my years of schooling that you’ll graduate and enter the traditional workforce, cubicle and lunch room and all. Unless you’re lucky and you get to make a living doing what you want to do. 

I hope I’m lucky.  

By Arden Schraff

Duke Student, mental health activist and resident goddess making Insta casual.

Illustrations by Abigail Hodges