Shopping Sexcapades

“Baby Face! Stop right there I’m going to need some ID!””

I freeze between the metal detectors at the entrance of Maxx Adult Emporium. My full baby cheeks turn bright red: this is the end.

Then, I remember that I am not under 18; I am in fact 20. I sheepishly reach into my pocket and show the sex store employee my ID.

“Oh, looks like you are old enough to be in here. I always have to make sure. You’ve just got such a young face!” the middle-aged woman with short blonde hair and glasses tells me as I look down at the counter at the slew of whippets in glass displays. I force a laugh and promptly leave the establishment.

Since this encounter, I have told all my closest friends and acquaintances about this experience. I even told my family later on that night, which might have been a weird move, but I was merely at the sex shop out of curiosity and it ended up being a very short-lived, unproductive trip. This story, in fact, has turned into my most popular anecdote: who doesn’t love a good ole carding at a sex shop!

However, two months later, I felt ready to go back and walk in to Maxx Adult Emporium with confidence. This time I swore that I wouldn’t avert my eyes or shy sheepishly away from the walls of anal beads in pink packaging. I would face those ridiculously packaged anal beads with a mature, sexually empowered manner.

***

Yet, before I had the chance to return to Maxx Adult Emporium, however, I found myself road-tripping through Western North Carolina. Somewhere along the way to Asheville, my friends and I stopped at a McDonald’s for a bathroom break. As we pulled in, we all simultaneously saw the sign for “Night Secrets: The Ultimate Fantasy Store.”

After a few seconds of debate, we set off to our first-ever sex-store drive through. As we pulled up--everyone giggling and snapchatting in the back seat--I expected the young woman at the window to card my friend in the driver’s seat. I was disappointed when she did not. Then she asked the question we were not prepared for, “what do you want?” I’ve never gotten that far before. So, I asked for the most basic product we could think of: lube.

“What kind?” the voice in the window instinctively shot back. I didn’t even know there were different options--so we asked her for her professional advice. “Well, there’s oil based or water based and some are scented or colored. It really depends on your preference.” We decided on water based, as oil based sounded like a bad idea. Fifteen dollars later we received our “fuck water,” which we laughed about for a solid ten minutes after we pulled away.

***

To be honest, I haven’t found myself back at Maxx Adult Emporium or any other sex related establishment since my drive through Night Secrets. I wish I had walked back in to Maxx Adult Emporium with the confidence of a woman well-versed in sexual needs and pleasures. Alas, I am not Carrie Bradshaw and, honestly, I am a little nervous for people to read about my sex shop experience.

I’d say that my nerves in regard to visiting and writing about a sex shop stem from deep seeded societal norms for women to hide their sexual desires whilst simultaneously being the epitome of sex appeal for men. Weird how society works. I’m not yet a woman completely comfortable with sharing sexual experiences online, but sharing my embarrassing encounter at Maxx Adult Emporium is one small step for yours truly, “Baby Face.”

By Arden Schraff

Duke Student, mental health activist and resident goddess making Insta casual.