The Well Necessities

Let’s face it: being a teenager or a twenty-something in the year 2018 isn’t exactly a walk in the park. We’re students, we’re friends, we’re daughters, we’re sons. We’re writers, we’re entrepreneurs, we’re artists, and we’re responsible yet somewhat party animals who are just trying to make it to Friday. Some days we identify with one of these personalities more than the others. Some days we pretend that we’re superheroes that are all of them at once. Regardless of what changes, one thing always remains the same: we’re busy. And we’re all just trying to figure it out.

Somewhere in that balancing act, something gets lost in translation. When you value your friends, your family, your grades and your social life highly, you want to do it all. You have to, right? Everyone sacrifices something to make it work. More often than not, that something is usually eating, sleeping, exercising, or having some time to yourself.

I’m here to remind you all that it’s normal to prioritize the things that are important to you. I’m here to point out that I’ve noticed our generation’s tendency to prioritize anything and everything over our own wellbeing. I’m also here to say that we could not possibly be doing ourselves a bigger disservice than putting ourselves last.

Wellness is, as any dictionary definition would tell you, the conscious, self-directed, and evolving process of becoming aware of what you need to achieve your best mental, physical and spiritual state of being. And it means everything to me. So much so that I’ve schemed my way into starting a whole column about it.

I, perhaps like many of you, started college feeling the definition of a frenzied and overwhelmed student. Everything I thought I knew about who I was, what I liked, and what I wanted to do with my life was put into question almost immediately, leaving me as a living, breathing ball of stress and existentialism. Know the feeling?

I drove myself to the breaking point by having experiences I thought “normal college students” were supposed to have: binge drinking, 3 AM pizzas, mindless hookups, sorority recruitment, and going out and getting my fiesta on four or five days a week. That may be some people’s definitions of paradise. And that’s awesome, all the power and pizza to them! But it wasn’t mine.

I was so consumed with the idea of “discovering myself” and settling into my newfound sense of freedom, that I had completely abandoned a lot of my personal values, goals, and sense of identity. Being lost, unsure, and confused is part of life, but changing yourself to the point of not being “you” anymore doesn’t have to be.

I woke up in November of this past year feeling like I was being jolted from a nightmare. I realized that I didn’t really like the way alcohol made me feel. I realized that my long strings of one-night stands made me feel used and detached, and my fear of vulnerability and loneliness leaving me settling with using them as replacements love and intimacy. I realized that the people who I pounded shots with on Wednesday through Saturday didn’t know the first thing about me. I realized that I didn’t know the first thing about me.

So, I let it all go – everything that was holding me down and making me feel anything less than beautiful and aflame with confidence. It was difficult, yes. Scary and foreign, sure. But it was also the purest sense of freedom that I have ever experienced.

Despite all of my progress so far, I have to remind myself to take a step back and put it all into perspective. I’ve only just begun my journey to becoming the most unapologetic version of myself. To be perfectly honest with you all, (and, first and foremost, with myself) I’d be lying if I said I was a patient person. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t constantly wishing that this whole journey to self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment was quicker, easier, and way more straightforward.

But I am driven. I am open-minded. I am compassionate. I am understanding. I am complex. I am a person. I am enough. I know who I am. But, more importantly, I also know who I am not.

I am not afraid of growing, of changing, of living, of believing. I am not afraid of being honest with myself and claiming my power. I am not afraid of my authenticity. I am not afraid of trying, and failing, and forgiving. I’m not afraid of putting myself first. I am not giving up on myself just yet.

And neither should you.

So, in the midst of your busy days, overflowing with deadlines, brunch plans, and overly justified procrastination sessions (yes, I see you - you’re not fooling anyone), all I ask is that you stop everything and take a moment. Ask yourself: “Is there anything that I need? Have I taken care of myself today? In this current moment, am I genuinely happy?”

Your answers may differ from day to day, or even from hour to hour. But that’s okay. Because just like anyone else on this planet, you deserve to be taken care of. Be the heroes to your own stories. No one knows them better than you. Embrace how far you are from the finish line and make an adventure out of your search for truth. I’ll be right here cheering you on the whole way through. Be well. Be you.

Namaste and until next time, my ever-growing luminaries.

By Sabrina Maciariello

Duke Student, wellness columnist and avocado connoisseur on the right side of the toast trend.