College Without a Safety Net

Privilege is such a heavy word, one that is very prevalent in today’s conversations. What is privilege? The basic dictionary definition is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.” This particular person or group can achieve a privileged status over others for a number of reasons. They could be male rather than female. They could be white rather than black, Latinx, or any other nonwhite race. They could grow up with money rather than growing up poor. 

College is a brand-new life for a lot of people. Depending on your school, you may meet people from all over the world. The idea of this is fascinating and has been one of the most rewarding parts of college for me. I grew up in Kentucky, a conservative state with a majority white population. I didn’t know a lot of people from anywhere else in the world - I mainly knew people who looked and acted like me. When I moved to New York for college, I looked forward to the people I would get to meet, and I can easily say that has been one of the greatest parts. However, it has also been one of the hardest things to navigate. It’s a complicated issue, because no matter where you are in life and how it’s going for you, it’s politically correct to be well aware that there are others who have it worse. I’m a white woman from the South, and that offers me privileges that other people might not have. But, like everything, it has its own drawbacks. In my case, I grew up fairly poor. This isn’t something that embarrasses me or something that I feel the need to ask for pity over. If you knew me, you’d know that half my jokes consist of funny quirks of growing up without any money. Please don’t read this as me being shameful of where I come from, because the place I’m in now is truly wonderful, and I couldn’t be living my current life without my upbringing.

I’d like to talk about being a low-income college student in one of the most expensive private schools in the nation, with nearly a third of the students being international.  

According to a study done by the New York Times, “The median family income of a student from N.Y.U. is $149,300, and 62% come from the top 20 percent. About 3.6% of students at N.Y.U. came from a poor family but became a rich adult.” This isn’t unique to NYU, but from my own limited experience at the university, this lines up. I’ve met very few students who also come from a low-income family as I do—but that could also be because it’s not something a lot of people talk about. I do all the same things as my friends and classmates: I go to class, I hang out, I buy food, and I spend a lot of time doing homework. The only real difference is I work multiple jobs throughout the week, I apply for my own loans, fill out my own FAFSA, use my own money to buy groceries, go out, pay for books, for rent, etc. My parents aren’t uninvolved, they just have their own lives - working full time jobs and still making just enough to provide for my two siblings. (How many? Might be interesting to include)

I like working. That may sound strange. A lot of my friends and classmates think so. Even those that do have a job only work a few hours a week and seem confused that I have multiple jobs and that I try to pick up all the shifts I can. The difference is I’m not working for spending money—I’m working for food money. The worst part is when they don’t realize it. Why can’t you come out with us every weekend? Why haven’t you started on that paper yet? Why are you always so focused on money? Well, because I have to be. Don’t get me wrong, I like the independence that comes with figuring everything out on my own. It’s just a little frustrating that many of my classmates are not more understanding. I wish everyone would stop saying that they don’t have time to get their homework done. Let me tell you – you probably do have time to get your homework done, but you’re spending it doing something else (or doing nothing). 

More than just confusion over schedules, the hardest part about going to an elite school as a low-income student is how often I’m made to feel dumb or uncultured. I don’t think this is on purpose, but it comes so easily to those that have done and seen so much more. I’ve met people from all over the world, who have traveled all over the world, whose parents took them to different countries for holidays and cultural events when they were young. I hate not knowing things and I love when people want to share knowledge with me. I just don’t like feeling dumb, and so often that’s how I’m talked to when I’m not as culturally aware as the other person. It’s like those people that act superior when you don’t know some obsolete music artist they listen to, except that it’s for things like different types of food, languages, or events that have happened. How can you not know the difference between Chinese and Korean cuisine? I grew up in Kentucky, and I don’t think anybody there knows that. I’d like to know that, but now I’m too afraid to ask for fear of being judged.

I try to be as openminded about everything as I possibly can. I mean, I didn’t choose one of the most expensive schools in the nation for no reason - I wanted to learn. My friends and family, and even people I barely knew, didn’t understand my choice at all. Why would I sign up for massive debt just for a school, when I could’ve gone to the University of Kentucky for practically nothing? But NYU was, and still is, my dream school. Throughout the last two and a half years I’ve had countless meltdowns about my choice to study here, usually after a humiliating conversation with the financial aid office, where they ask me for my number ID instead of my name, talk to me like I’m an idiot (because with financial information I am), and never actually end up fixing my problem on the first try. 

There are other students who feel this way, but there are so few of us that I don’t know where they are, so I often feel very alone. I adore my friends and they’re great listeners, but I can’t explain why I can’t live off campus without getting a little upset. Try living off campus when you have to cough up over a thousand dollars for rent each month out of your own pocket. Try going out all weekend every weekend, when you have to work several jobs and still get all of your homework done. Try doing an internship in your field of study when they’re all unpaid. I told a classmate my freshman year I was going home over the summer to work at a pizza place and a waterpark - about 50 hours a week all summer, getting paid Kentucky’s minimum wage, which is $7.25 an hour. She said she wished she could just relax for the summer like that, but her parents were paying for her to stay in LA and work at an unpaid internship once a week. When we graduate, she will have a lot more experience in her field and many more professional connections than I do. But what am I supposed to do? I have to pay my loans, I have to buy myself food, I have to save up for when I study abroad and can’t work. I want a good resume as much as the next person. I need a good resume to get a good job after I graduate, but how am I supposed to do that if I can’t afford to work for no money? 

College culture is pretty negative these days. If you ask any of us how we are, the answer will probably be “I’m dying” or “I’m so broke and tired.” We’re all tired, it’s true, but some of us are actually broke.  It gets frustrating to hear others make jokes about something that weighs so heavily on my shoulders every day. I’m going to leave college with a hundred thousand dollars of debt and I’m not the only one. If you’re reading this and that’s you: you’re not the only one. You’re not the only one who has to budget your money with the constant anxiety that there might not be enough. You’re not the only one that hasn’t traveled to Italy for vacation when you were a kid, or to Disney World - or even out of your own state. You’re not the only one who didn’t have ACT or SAT prep tutors, or a boarding school education, or an essay coach for your college applications. Only “3.6% of students at N.Y.U. came from a poor family but became a rich adult”.  The numbers are against us, but we’re not alone.  

By Kirsten Lootens

NYU Student with a passion for books, ice cream, and traveling.