On Being Single During Holidays
Nobody asks me if I’m in a relationship on Easter. Or the 4th of July. But as soon as cold temperatures and shorter days roll around, everyone clamors to ask who my boyfriend is and then, more importantly, why said boyfriend doesn’t exist.
The annual relationship questions have plagued me my entire life. Although I should be an expert in navigating this situation by now, I’m always a little bit taken aback whenever someone asks me why I’m not dating anyone. And whatever answer I give is always debated: “But you’re such a beautiful girl, it’s impossible that boys aren’t falling over themselves for you!” Well Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but that’s not reality.
The COVID-19 pandemic has added an additional layer of unacceptability to this seasonal interrogation. A pandemic is not really the time to be interacting with random people from Tinder, Grandma.
This isn’t meant to sound self-deprecating. It’s really about how difficult it can be to find a good, healthy relationship during college, not to mention when there’s a global pandemic occurring in the background. The pressure to be in a relationship as a young woman is omni-present, and if you aren’t, society says that there’s something inherently wrong with you. And that pressure is never more intense than during the holidays.
Holidate, a new Netflix movie starring Emma Roberts, is a rom-com about two people who use each other as dates for holidays so that they can avoid questions and judgement from their family members. Of course, as in every cheesy rom-com, the two fall in love by the end of the movie. However, Holidate does a good job exemplifying what being single during the holidays can feel like.
The two protagonists are so overwhelmed by the single-during-a-holiday experience that they find another person to use purely as a date to holiday festivities and not for any kind of real relationship. The pressure of being coupled up overrode their actual reasons for being in a relationship, such as love, companionship, deep human connection, etc.
Holidate’s protagonists navigate around their families’ incessant relationship questions with their “holidate”, but for all of us who haven’t met a hot stranger at the mall to pose as our significant other, being single during winter holidays can be overwhelming. I wish this article would reach an older audience of all of our grandparents to encourage them to dial back the interrogation, but unfortunately, it doesn’t. So, this season, remember that you are a whole human being with or without a significant other. No judgmental eye roll can stop you from being a bad bitch regardless of your relationship status. You’re allowed to only want yourself for Christmas.
By Marla Hiller
La Croix obsessed, coffee addicted, podcast fanatic.